I bet almost all of us have this disease in some form or another.  We expect the impossible from both ourselves AND others, an expectation that can only lead to failure, and therefore disappointment.

Here’s some typical examples:

• We expect our teenagers’ bedrooms to always be tidy.  Yeah, right.  And who is upset when it’s not?  Not them, that’s for sure.
• We expect the bathing suit we wore last summer to still fit.  uh-huh, uh-huh…
• We are upset that at age 40-plus we don’t look as young as we used to, and that at 50-plus it seems to be speeding up…
• We expect never to say the wrong thing.  Ever.  Shouldn’t we be smarter than that by now?
• We expect to live in the perfect house in the perfect street, with the perfect car and the perfect spouse and perfect children and one totally house-trained dog, or maybe two.
• We expect to get on with our parents by now.  And our siblings. And because we are the black sheep of the family, we do wonder whether we should have tried harder not to be so… well… black-sheep’ish.
• And let’s not start on the haranguing we give our partners…  shall I go on?  Nah… ya get the picture.

So…  secretly (apparently), YOU’re different – YOU really are useless – you’re saying it to yourself right now – I know!  No one else knows this about THEMselves or anything… just you.  Oh good grief.

How did that get there?!!  Seriously!  How?!  Why?!

This has to be our most dangerous trait, as humans, and especially as women and mothers.  It’s damaging to ourselves and to those we love.

Can’t ‘good enough’, ‘okay’ and even plain ‘normal’ do it?

So how about it? Me, I’m 5kg heavier than I’d like to be flying to the Sunshine Coast in Australia on the weekend, where I do intend to be in my bathing suit.  Probably not my bikini though eh…

As always,

Sue

xx

Of the first group that want to make a difference – there are two types – those that are doing it, and those that are waiting – generally to figure out what their specific role is, or until the time is right, or …

I have news.  Don’t wait.

I’ve had many purpose-full roles in my life, and I still wonder at my particular role or purpose.  I have it in general terms – sometimes with great clarity even.

The thing is to start; to do.  Too many people are looking for a sign, or wanting the perfect job to land in their laps, or waiting for the right conditions.

The World needs you now.

The amount of Light in the world is not sufficient to sustain our peace and harmony.  The moment you stop thinking or pondering on where, what, how… and actually take action… your contribution to the Light of the world registers, and the waves that spread out from your actions add another layer of positivity to a world in balance.

Don’t wait.

The Universe will offer up its assistance once you take action.

Sue

xo

My lovely Trying God’s Patience Facebook page was hacked on New Year’s Eve, along with Title Wave and the collaborative page I share with 100 or so other Facebook pages: The Golden Rule.

Needless to say, we’re working on it.  You may be surprised to hear that we have pretty much laughed our way through the whole debacle.  Oddest new year ever, but hey…

EXCITING NEWS: I just went ahead anyway and started another page.  Figured I’d just call it Sue Fitzmaurice.  So do please visit, like, comment, share… like CRAZY!

Happy New Year!  (Laughing myself silly.)

Sue xo

PS: Have stuck to just Sue Fitzmaurice, and given Trying God’s Patience away to new friends.  Just wasn’t me anymore.

I’m wondering now if 2011 got the better deal after all.

Let’s not recount the many local, national and global dramas and their horrific impacts.  But I so want to speak to the suffering of so many individuals, not least in their wondering “Why?!”  (Or as some of us may have put it to ourselves and/or the Universe on more than one occasion: “What the …?!”)

I believe we are in the balance.  Globally, nationally, locally and individually.  Physically, morally, spiritually.  I also believe very much that the old adage of it’ll get worse before it gets better applies.  AND, to add to the mix, the prevalence of black-and-white thinking concerns me greatly.  Such polarisation, so little meeting-in-the-middle, so little appreciation of the grey, for it is surely where most Truth lies.

Levels of personal, spiritual anguish seem higher than ever.  (Or do we say deeper?)  And this appears regardless of personal religious Faith or not.

I believe Humanity’s pain weighs on all of us.  I believe often those with the greatest pain are being called to greater service.  I believe we are tired.

And I believe that right now is the moment to carry on, to believe in Humanity, to express Love at all cost.

If we are to fare better in 2013, then we have to “get” – more than ever – that Peace begins with me.

Sue xo

It’s an honour that belongs only to a few Pacific Island nations and the far reaches of the Russian continent.  New Zealanders like to make a fuss about it.

Most fun of all is to “take the piss” – terrible expression, but again uniquely Kiwi – means to have a jolly good laugh at the harmless expense of others.

Posting a wee satellite shot of the central region of New Zealand (where I live), announcing “WE’RE STILL HERE!” gets an eclectic array of responses to say the least.  Here’s a summary of types:

• Gets the joke:  knows it’s a laugh and adds quirky comment such as “goddam, I’ll have to wrap the Christmas presents after all”, or “thank God, I was worried”.
• The Know-it-all:  an apparent expert in Mayan time-keeping who offers the “correct” information about what time and time zone the Apocalypse will occur.  Can be confused with “Gets the joke” – experience required to tell the difference.
• By the Book:  provides Bible references of one sort or another.
• The Wanker:  assumes we’re all stupid, calls people names and uses 4-letter words.

At this point, I haven’t heard from any actual Apocalypticists.  (Yes, I made that up – cool, eh.)

Thanks so much to the “Get-the-jokers” – you’re makin’ my day! I wish there were more of you.

That’s all.  Off to listen to The Grateful Dead.

Sue.

Loving this new blog from special friends, Michelle and Cindy.  

But bloody hell!   Too many (one is too many) mass shootings of children this year. Too much violence period.

But I tell ya what!  Isn’t the gun lobby SO successful!  They’re so successful they’ve got ordinary people in the US (and even outside of the US) defending some “right” to bear arms.  Ordinary people!  Saying that the bad people slip through the system, and they get the worst guns illegally, and and and…

There is no difference between these arguments and the foolishness of the deterrence of two enemies both having nuclear arms – mutually assured destruction – MAD – both sides know the other has WMDs so neither will use them.

(We won’t mention the thousands of nuclear tests in the South Pacific or the deserts east of California in particular.)

And then there’s “Guns don’t kill people; people kill people.”  But guns kill them one hell of a lot more easily.  Lots of them.  From a distance.  No need to get up close and personal, or even see the decimation wreaked.

Get your shit together, people!

Here are some links today from The Atlantic Monthly, that add some numbers we know about for sure.  (Never let some good facts stand in the way of a good lobby though eh.)

The Geography of US Gun Violence

America’s Handgun Boom (w. charts)

And this is an amazing article about Japan’s virtual elimination of shooting deaths, in large part by forbidding gun ownership: How Japan Has Eliminated Shooting Deaths

s.

Me, I love a good dichotomy. It’s when I’m surest of all, that I’ve likely stumbled on something useful.  I think of a dichotomy as a kind of mind-bending contradiction; a higher order of contradiction that involves points of particular value.

In the pursuit of our Vision and Purpose, we will especially find early on in that process, that the worst of all of our negative thoughts arise with more vigour than ever before.  There eventually comes a time when all such obstacles fade and drop like flies in the increasing clarity and robustness of your Vision and Purpose.  In the meantime, a range of seeming obstacles like to either test our grit, or else our own increasing positivity gives them an unpleasant airing as it forces them out.

And therein lies one very obvious contradiction…  we seek clarity and en route we can find the worst of mental and emotional crisis and doubt.  Here then is one great Truth: that in the pursuit of Vision we must first pass through Chaos.

Here’s some definitions:

Dilemma = a situation in which a difficult choice has to be made between two or more alternatives, especially ones that are equally undesirable: eg. he wants to make money, but he also disapproves of it.

Contradiction = a combination of statements, ideas, or features which are opposed to one another.

Dichotomy = a division or contrast between two things that are (or are represented as being) opposed or entirely different: eg. a rigid dichotomy between science and mysticism

source: oxforddictionaries.com

Oh there’s such a list of them…

• In the pursuit of new wealth, we often experience poverty.
• In the pursuit of clarity, we often experience complete fuzziness.
• In the pursuit of the Light, we often experience the dark.
• Believing, in a context of few resources, that the Universe is able to give us everything.
• Staying highly present, while dreaming about the future.
• Knowing that to be happy in the presence of bleakness is a vital task.
• Being rational, without over-thinking.
• Knowing precisely what you want at the same time remaining open to what the Universe has in mind for you.
• Focusing on our goal but remaining mindful of the Universe’s cues.
• To be both content and discontent – grateful for what I have and always wishing to expand my capacity and capability, to be better than I am, to make a greater difference.
• To accept my children, my family, my friends for who and what they are, and to help them believe they can become more.
• To accept the ‘negative’ in the world for what it is; at the same time not give the negative attention in my life.
• To consider only the positive, and to be realistic and grounded.
• To know that all these things are so essential to ponder upon, but to never spend too much time thinking about them.
• To take responsibility for past actions, without taking on guilt.

We’re not taught in our logical world to understand the great value of dichotomy, the reality of contradiction, or how to respond well to dilemmas (not to mention the special joy of irony, much loved by Brits and Kiwis in their particular brands of humour, but that’s for another day).

In the search for Truth, Light, Vision, Purpose, Meaning, Answers…  a choice between black or white tends often to create more problems than it solves.  I vote for grey.  I vote for contradiction.  Therein lies openness, and therein lies the most direct route for the Universe to aid us in achieving our Vision.  To allow ourselves to feel ‘stuck’ by dichotomy, or forced to choose one of two or more seemingly opposing ideas, we block the naturally paradoxical Universe itself from supporting us.

There are many, many examples of this contradictory world, society, life…  Not everything needs to be solved.  Not everything needs to make sense.  And I hope that makes sense.

Sue xo

The Serenity Prayer by Reinhold Niebuhr; it’s tempting to finish right there.  I mean really, what else is there?

With thanks to Jenn Manning & Random Thoughts n’ Lotsa Coffee

Courage and the capacity to adapt to change are learned skills and no one is without the capability to acquire them with practice.

That’s also pretty simple, and I’d be inclined to just leave it there too.

Also worth mentioning of course: that courage does not mean we do scary things without fear.  And, what’s more, the things we’re afraid of doing may not even be scary to the majority of people.

♥

Right now, I’m riding a bus – I don’t do buses.  But turns out the car keys were elsewhere (miffed moment) on the evening I’ve had planned with a best girlfriend for ages.   Momentarily ready to postpone nonetheless, my son scolded me with “Mum, you can take the bus there – I take the bus there every week!”  Short instructions later – two buses it is, and across town – and here I am.  On a bus.   And there are advantages to the bus that the car does not afford – not least of all I get to turn my laptop on and type.

The more scary things you do, the more you acquire faith in your own ability to survive.   That’s courage.  That’s capacity to change.

If you’ve grown up with a lot of change, you’ll find it easier to take on new things.  If you’re younger, you’ll find it easier to take on new things.

There will be a multitude of things – stuff – scary stuff! – monsters-under-the-bed stuff – that will appear to stand between you and your Vision.

So?!

I promise you this: every time you do something new and scary – and survive – you will feel more confident next time; you’ll feel proud of yourself this time; you’ll almost certainly wonder what you were worried about.

The adage to try something new every day doesn’t count for squat if your commitment is to try a new cafe every day – unless of course you’re agoraphobic.  There’s stepping shyly and quietly out of your comfort zone – in other words, relatively comfortably – and then there’s taking a giant stride.

And believing.  Trusting.  Knowing that when you do, the Universe will step forward to assist.

Okay.  Total of about five anxious minutes…  Got of bus one in Courtenay Place at rush hour Someone I know might see me!  Potential dealing-with-snob-acquaintance moment.  The way I read that schedule board there’s no more buses to Karori for an hour and a half.  But my son said to get off here.  Maybe he meant I should have gotten off up there.  Logic says bus two will be along momentarily.

Voila!

I’m on bus two.  Desperately thirsty.  Hope the beer’s cold when I get there.

Sue xo