You must learn how to criticise properly

Post 32 of 38

Too many people do not criticise well.  Now, don’t start saying “well, we shouldn’t criticise at all” – totally, we should criticise!  But there’s a way to do it properly.  (Yes, there is an ‘s’ in criticise.)

First Rule – never criticise the person.  I don’t even care if it’s Hitler, let alone Newt Gingrich or Margaret Thatcher.
DO NOT CRITICISE THE PERSON.  The reason being, that even when you criticise the likes of Hitler, most of you can’t do it without using words I really don’t want on my page.  I don’t even like hearing h@te or ev#l – I really don’t like them.

Second Rule – criticise as in “critique”  – I shall explain after a few of my favourite criticisms…  (Yes, there is a ‘u’ in favourite.)

Third Rule – do NOT repeat yourself – we read your comment the first time, the second time we started to think you were a little annoying, the third time we’re doing eye rolls, sighing, and hovering our index finger over the ‘delete’ button.

Imagine a post on my facebook page Sue Fitzmaurice; let’s say a quote from Mark Twain – common enough…

#1 eye roll material: “I disagree with you.”  It’s not MY quote!  eye roll, sigh, eye roll…

#2 eye roll material: “I disagree.”  If you can’t at least give me an interesting reason why, I DON’T CARE!  eye roll, grrr, eye roll
And please consider that – well, yes, of course you’re entitled to your opinion, but… when Einstein says “Imagination is more important than Knowledge” that it is reasonable to consider the possibility that unless you’ve done something as clever as discovering the Theory of Relativity, you MIGHT not have a particularly valuable criticism to make… yeah?
Most of the quotes I post are from the world’s cleverest, smartest, most creative, most successful-in-their-field people – TRY IT ON for size – they have something to say, that’s why I’m posting it…

#3 eye roll material: “I don’t like this.”  I SO wanted to know that; of all the 60,000+ fans on this page, your opinion is the most important.  eye roll, sigh, eye roll

#4 eye roll material: “NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”  Delete comment.

#5 eye roll material: “You’re wrong.”  See #1 and First Rule.

#6 eye roll material: some blather about free speech, the constitution of the United States, or censorship
I don’t believe in  free speech if it’s hateful, inappropriately critical, off topic, personally targeted, etc.  I am not a citizen of the United States nor do I actually give a toss about your constitution *shock, horror*  Do you care about MY constitution?  I didn’t think so.  And I will delete whatever comments and individuals I choose to who break the rules of this page, which after all are just common courtesy.  This page – and most of the world – is not a democracy.  This page is a Monarchy, and I’m the Queen.  I expect no more from anyone than I’d expect if you were invited into my home for tea, and if I don’t like your behaviour, I’ll be asking you to leave.  (Yes, there is a ‘u’ in ‘behaviour’.)

#7 eye roll material: “God wants us to… …”
This should always be prefaced with “I believe”, as in “I believe God wants us to… …”  Aside from expressing your beliefs as a belief and not a fact, please don’t ever claim to know the ‘mind’ of God – you are far too small and insignificant to know this.  And for those I just KNOW will be wanting to disagree with this, please don’t.  It’s not the main point of this blog, please just take it on board and move along…  You cannot know the mind of God anymore than you can know the mind of another person – and indeed that would be a whole lot easier – and even then you’d have to say “I believe George wants us to… …”  Get it?

#8 eye roll material: “This page is not what I thought it was – you are a brat (oh, yes, I’ve had that one – lovely) – there is nothing Godly about this page at all (did I claim there was?) – I’m un-liking you – I’m leaving this page … …”  This is what this sounds like in my head – in the voice of a whiny child: “I’m not gonna be your friend anymore.”  Do I look like I care?

I could go on and on and on… but I’m already giving myself a headache.  THIS is how you disagree with, or criticise, something that’s appeared on YOUR newsfeed from MY page…

FIRSTLY – THINK!  Have you really got a GOOD reason to say something critical – is your disagreement really that big a deal that it’s worth commenting for thousands of other people to see?  Y’see… you think when you comment, that it’s mostly just you and me having an exchange – it’s not.  a) it’s you, me and tends of thousands of others, and b) do you have ANY idea what it’s like reading petty disagreements from hundreds of other people in a day?  Think about that…  I’m really happy for you to disagree, but please MAKE IT WORTH MY WHILE.  Make it intelligent, make it original, and above all, make it interesting.  Criticisms that are not intelligent, original or interesting include any of those mentioned above, along with that you like the quote, but you don’t like the picture; or you like the picture, but you don’t like the quote; or you’d like the picture better if there was a different font; or you like the quote but you don’t like Twain; or… I could go on…

SECOND – No-one owns their ideas.  Once an idea is expressed, it’s out there, in the ether, on the table, so to speak.  So if we disagree, what we say is: “I don’t agree with the idea that… … because I think that … …” and we only bother doing that if it’s relevant, if it’s interesting and if it hasn’t already been said – if your opinion has already been stated by someone else, then it’s already in the mix, so to speak… if we all keep repeating ourselves then that’s where online discussions turn into yukky situations.

THREE – NEVER say you disagree with someone else’s religion on my page.  NEVER EVER EVER.  We can all assume, since you may have indicated you have another religion, that that is where your Faith lies.  End of story.  Our religious Faith is one of our most precious things; like our children, and we all know you never criticise someone else’s children.  You can however say: “I don’t understand this particular belief in this particular religion; could someone explain it to me please.”  So, NEVER: “Why is Islam so violent?” but RATHER: “Why are there these violent movements among people who also say they’re Muslim?”  (By which time one hopes you’ve answered your own question, since we can see the same in many religions of course.)

FOUR – you must CONSIDER someone else’s idea before criticising it – think it through – think about where they’re coming from – “it is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it” – Aristotle. 

FIVE – Let go of your ideas and beliefs just a little, take a deep breath, pause and think, BEFORE you write.  We are ALL just people.  We ALL hurt from criticism.  We ALL try hard.  We ALL want the same things in our life: love, respect, care…

I want to finish this with a direct comment from a friend of my facebook page:

“I was saddened by the comments about guns on your page, too, [don’t get caught up on the gun issue – that’s not what this is about – keep reading…] and also by some commentors’ use of personal attacks instead of engaging in a thoughtful exchange of opposing viewpoints. I’m beginning to think that type of exchange is no longer possible, not in the USA and/or not on FB. I would love to see a FB thread some day led by intelligent, thoughtful people with a variety of viewpoints who are capable of saying to one another, “You make a valid point; however, I disagree with you because . . . .” and “I see what you mean. But have you ever considered . . . ?” That’s not asking for too much, is it?!  And I don’t understand why being anti-gun–or merely expressing sorrow over gun violence–has become equated with being anti-American or anti-civil liberties.”

I don’t want to make this blog about America any more than I want to make it about God.  It’s about courtesy and respect.  Some days I think I’ve become more tolerant of the criticism, other days I’m just so over it.  Please try and do better by each other.

Much love.


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This article was written by tryinggodspatience


bernadette rose smithMarch 1, 2012 at 2:02 pmReply

Don’t know if this was supposed to make me smile but it did … as I so relate, my dear. And I LOVE “Don’t believe everything you think.” I tell myself that quite often, actually. Especially 3 days before and after a full moon. (A great time NOT to criticise, by the way.)

Michelle QuesadaMarch 1, 2012 at 3:04 pmReply

My goodness! This is lovely and I will be sharing it wherever I can!!

Sue SwayzeeMarch 1, 2012 at 3:31 pmReply

Very good ideas on how to debate without attacking. Critical thinking is an essential skill in being able to stay on point in disagreeing with an idea. One of the hardest parts about arguing a viewpoint that is different from one’s own is parting with the notion that not making a statement of disagreement is in itself agreeing.

CyndiMarch 1, 2012 at 3:50 pmReply

All I’ve got to say is: You Go Girl !!!! Most of the time I say “oh that’s soo me” or I’m copying it for future reality checks. If its something I don’t quite agree with, I move on to the next picture, etc. I look forward to reading your items daily, especially right now as I’m going through a difficult time. Thank you so much for sharing bits of your thoughts and of others. Know that you are much valued and appreciated!

Trying God’s PatienceMarch 1, 2012 at 5:23 pmReply

Thanks Cyndi; hope you get through the tough times – what doesn’t kill us… and all that… 😀

I’ve come to believe that the more we accept and are even grateful for the tough times, the quicker we get through them – easy to say, hard to do I know. If you think of this as a test from God, that he’s given to you because he believes you’re up for it – ie. you’re WORTH it – then maybe that will help.

Much love, and good luck! xo

CyndiMarch 2, 2012 at 11:17 amReply

Thank you so much. I agree with you and am trying to use that train of thought. Some days I just have to try a little harder! My daughter, Son-In-law, and one of my sons have. Been living with me until this last week. My Son-in-Law left for Boot Camp in Georgia (we live in Cali.). They gave me my first Grandchild on Jan. 24th. She made her Debut about 3+ weeks early. As a result of what I’m going through right now, I get to spend a lot more time with her. She brings me an immense amount of joy, laughter and thankfulness on a daily basis. She will probably be moving with her mommy in June to go live with her daddy wherever he is stationed after Boot Camp, so I am working on cherishing and being grateful for every minute I get to spend with them, instead of concentrating on my physical ailments and other issues. Like I said, some days are easier to do this than other days. I also get so much joy, etc. from reading yours and A Beautiful Mess every day. For me, “Y’ALL” are the equivalent of those daily inspiration books. So, again thank you! Oh, I also lived 20 years in Oklahoma, so I couldn’t resist the above LOL

Susan LeslieFebruary 4, 2013 at 6:01 pmReply

I also have come to believe that accepting the tough times for what they are and even becoming grateful for them does make it quicker to get through. It helps to remember every situation is 1) temporary in some measure; 2) can and should be examined for the lesson(s) that it carries; and then 3) put away for reference later on down the road.

I loved the blog. Thanks so much for sharing so succinctly and boldly.

Sue Fitzmaurice SueFebruary 7, 2013 at 3:42 amReply

Thanks, Susan. xo

Running from Hell with ElMarch 1, 2012 at 5:42 pmReply

I chuckled when I read this, particularly the line about our Constitution. Folks always seem to forget that the Constitution does not grant someone the right to walk into my house and treat me rudely. Have a lovely night.

Trying God’s PatienceMarch 1, 2012 at 6:12 pmReply

Thanks El! xo

Jackson BennettMarch 1, 2012 at 5:58 pmReply

Kia ora Sue . Excellent points that you make young lady . I heartily approve { yes … there is an e in heartily }, education of this nature is becoming essential in our society , the greater promotion of virtues amongst us ,and our willingness to sacrifice the need to criticise so harshly and childishly . God Bless you , and your lovely mind.

Trying God’s PatienceMarch 1, 2012 at 6:13 pmReply

Thanks darling Paul. xoxo

charla pheisterMarch 1, 2012 at 6:57 pmReply

Thank you Sue…I have fallen short on several points…I am learning through error also, my compassion is something I try so hard not to bruise through my own actions, but it happens. I am so blessed to have found such a wonderful community,as you and others have created. Again, thank you!

Trying God’s PatienceMarch 1, 2012 at 11:03 pmReply

Thanks Charla. xoxo

Sue MouatMarch 4, 2012 at 11:28 amReply

I am not so eloquent as others, just want you to know all of the above is why I like your page. Sue xx

Trying God’s PatienceMarch 4, 2012 at 3:02 pmReply

Thanks, Sue. xoxo

wendybelMarch 5, 2012 at 1:11 pmReply

I loved this. So many of us are quick to dispense “our” opinion and will use any method available to make it noticeable even if it includes a personal attack. I loved your analogy of having someone over for tea and they misbehave and you send them home! There are quite a few people that need to learn manners and be sent home.

I love your facebook page and share it often. It makes me laugh, think, and sometimes look at things a different way. Thank you.


Trying God’s PatienceMarch 5, 2012 at 3:20 pmReply

Hiya Wendy; thanks so much. 😀 😀

Ximena BervejilloMarch 5, 2012 at 2:21 pmReply

Thank you for writing this and for every single post that you share. I don’t remember disagreeing with you, or better said, the quotes that you share with us. Maybe sometimes I wouldn’t have chosen that, but … honestly , almost always you speak my mind, and you do it so eloquently, so fine… Muchas gracias! Where do you get them from???? do you really “produce” them all? well, even if you just find them and take them, they are great. As someone else said here, I always look forward to what you have to “say” through your pictures and quotes… always food for the thought… and by the way, I completely agree with your rules about how to criticise properly.. they can be used in all aspects of one’s life, or at least we would hope people would be aware of them not only here, but in their daily lives.
Keep on filling us everyday with smiles and moments of awe!

Trying God’s PatienceMarch 5, 2012 at 3:19 pmReply

Thanks, Ximena. I do put most of my posts together myself – although the photos are generally not my own – I try to credit where they’re from where possible. Occasionally I do use my own or friends’ photos too. Thanks for your comments. xoxo

Rhonda PalmerMarch 5, 2012 at 4:20 pmReply

Good points all. I love your stuff, and am sad that my fellow humans feel it necessary to diss anything, let along YOUR lovely stuff. As to putting out the icky posts that come your way, I hope you won’t. You do what you want and I’ll still love it all, but I was just watching a lovely young man sing on a YouTube video and underneath were all those nasty trolls making their nasty comments and my enjoyment evaporated. I often don’t go to blogs with nit pickers and nose pickers making their critical (or worse) comments just because the world is sad enough (think war, hunger, tornadoes, slavery, etc etc etc). Is this just denial on my part? I’m pretty tough but just want to protect some little space for my heart to live in comfortably. And did I tell you I love your stuff?

Trying God’s PatienceMarch 5, 2012 at 9:21 pmReply

Thanks, Rhonda. xoxo

DoeMarch 20, 2012 at 6:18 pmReply

“This page is a Monarchy, and I’m the Queen. I expect no more from anyone than I’d expect if you were invited into my home for tea, and if I don’t like your behaviour, I’ll be asking you to leave.”


carol moganMarch 20, 2012 at 6:22 pmReply

I love reading the wisdom & emotionally intelligent conversation here…I wont go into detail but have had a long hard road of grief in last 10 years…I have learned to open my mind to everything around me & soak up any information that will help me reach my goals…the thorn in my side is my own emotion…I have strong emotional reactions to what I perceive as hurt…need to learn to let go faster…I have come a long way as a work hard on myself but have trouble with outside influences..any comments would be appreciated


Trying God’s PatienceMarch 20, 2012 at 7:07 pmReply

Oh Carol, we are our worst enemies, it’s true. I’m entirely the same, although I must say, there has been at least SOME value in some of the ghastly criticisms some folks have left on Trying God’s Patience, which is that I just let most of it go now. I roll my eyes, and I think ‘well, that’s where they’re at’… Certainly I’ve figured out that EVERYone I meet has their cross to bear – EVERYone hurts somehow. I’ve learnt we say so much more by not saying anything at all. One of life’s biggest lessons, for sure. You can let yourself off the hook though in the knowledge that it’s all just practice – if it was the real thing it would have come with instructions. 😀 I believe the thing God wants from us most of all is to love and to forgive and to care, even for those that hurt us. And in order for us to learn how to do that, we generally have to get hurt a lot! ‘Cos we’re a bit slow on the uptake most of us… Much love to you, and thank you so much for writing. xoxo

carol moganMarch 20, 2012 at 6:25 pmReply

oh ps lol should have mentioned that’s why I need to learn to criticise properly as I often react from an emotional place

thank you

Maryann S. DitmyerMarch 20, 2012 at 8:07 pmReply

I love your blog.If this page is to be about debate then there are rules.i was on the debate team in high school.Personal attacks are forbidden as they don’t help make any point.All personal attacks do is show that the person launching them is out of ideas.I love the way you use you wit to keep things from getting personal. Thanks for keeping it on an even keel.

Trying God’s PatienceMarch 20, 2012 at 9:31 pmReply

Absolutely. But y’know sometimes I find myself equally frustrated with people just saying “I disagree” with nothing else to add – I want to know why and to have a bit of discussion, or otherwise I think ‘what was the point’? Disagreeing for its own sake always seems so pointless – there’s nothing learnt and nothing to consider… Oh dear, stop me or I’ll start lecturing! 😀
Thanks Maryann – I always love hearing from you.

Cathleen DwireMarch 30, 2012 at 1:17 pmReply

I just wanted to say that the thing I absolutely Love about your page is that it is so very diverse. You cover such a broad spectrum of religions, artists, writers, etc., and I find that not only do I find myself sharing your posts most often on my own timeline, but I discover that I’ve learned something new and valuable at the same time. I also find it a bit annoying when someone simply comments that they disagree with something, because it seems pointless to do that without explaining why. I hope that you don’t become too discouraged by the commentors, though, because sometimes I gain some further insight from some of the things people say about a post. Keep up the excellent work, I truly appreciate you and your page very much. Thank You and Kind Regards,


Janice AshtonMarch 30, 2012 at 1:36 pmReply

What a joy you are to read, Sue. I, too, long for polite and civilized communication and have learned not to expect it in the social media. I chalk it up to the anonymity of posting on Facebook; I think that people are far more likely to be argumentative and rude when they are not actually standing in the same room with you. That was a lovely upbraiding you gave us, and I enjoyed every word of it.

Barbara ChurchMarch 30, 2012 at 4:03 pmReply

I love your page. I look forward to your posts. Thank you for making Facebook more than a waste of time. You make it thought-provoking & intriguing. Well done!

Cardianl’LMarch 31, 2012 at 3:32 pmReply

sorry, don’t have much comment, but just wanted to say I appreciated this. thank you

sheilaburkeApril 11, 2012 at 9:21 amReply

Hmmmm my comment is floating in cyberspace somewheres, lol. I have a crabby mouse today who can’t sit still and click when it’s supposed to, lol. Anyhow, I think I said I liked #3 and #4 best.

Pam RosenbergApril 13, 2012 at 3:36 pmReply

I just found your site and read this; I am quite encouraged to find somebody else who values courtesy and respect. I would love to “meet” the person who would like to “engag[e] in a thoughtful exchange of opposing viewpoints…,” as that is exactly what I’d like to do!

So many people have already taken their position and are hunkered down ready to “hold the fort” no matter what, but haven’t got the interest or perhaps ability to consider or discuss other perspectives. Well, I do, and I’d like to be able to have these discussions in a civil manner! I will friend your page (what a strange expression) and perhaps you could ask the person who posted that paragraph if s/he would be willing to friend me?

Trying God’s PatienceApril 13, 2012 at 5:35 pmReply

I “think” I can find who that was, Pam, if I go back to the first time I posted this blog – this is about the 5th time I’ve re-posted it. xoxo

Sally Zhwa AdebayoMay 17, 2012 at 6:51 amReply

Saw a “share” from your FB page on my feed this morning. Clicked to see it in larger font. Noted a reference to your Pinterest ,clicked and followed you here. This is the real beauty of social media.
I’m impressed with your funny and thoughtful writing, and it doesn’t hurt that I agree with you 100%. I was beginning to doubt that anyone else felt this way… ” I don’t even like hearing h@te or ev#l – I really don’t like them.” I hesitate to comment on most things,especially those I disagree with, and most especially when I disagree so thoroughly that I feel like a cartoon character with steam shooting out my ears ,because I know that is the time for me to take a deep breath and remember that the poster comes from a different space and background than me,and no amount of discussion on any social media is likely to positively effect the opinion of some one who is “hunkered down” (apt description Pam Rosenberg). I have to remember the important things I learned from my Judeo-Christian upbringing…”Judge not lest ye be judged” and, “Love thy neighbor as thyself”. Brilliant words in my opinion ,but seriously difficult in the presence of ear steam. When I am feeling hunkered down in my opinions, I like repeating to myself “Don’t believe everything you think”. It really helps with my ability to listen when I am relating to the friends and family I have from vastly different cultures.
Your rules are perfectly reasonable.I’ll do my best to keep them in mind no matter whose monarchy I am traveling through.

Trying God’s PatienceMay 18, 2012 at 10:50 amReply

Sally – thank you for your thoughts. Much appreciated. There is a lot of “hunkered down” thinking around for sure, and it can so frustrate. I like the line from (I think it’s) Madagascar: “Just smile and wave…” xoxo

connieMay 24, 2012 at 10:10 pmReply

I tend to be hardcore about moderating and deleting comments from my blog… I mean, It’s MINE! My blog is a FAMILY and travel type of blog, with an occasional recipe and lots of cat photos, yet I still get drive-by snarks trying to sneak in with random negativity. Why? … *delete!*

However, on my personal Facebook page, I often entertain lengthy debates and arguments amongst my friends and family. Facebook is a great place for that sort of thing, when it is between people who actually ENJOY doing it. Many of my friends and family are quite opinionated, loud, and well-spoken and I get a lot out of these exchanges. I do not block it when things get heated or passionate… again, FB is a great place for this, as long as people want to participate and treat each other well…. but I will even block family members, kick them right out, if they get nasty with anyone in a personal manner.

I totally agree with you. It’s not a democracy. You are not denying anyone free use of the internet! But it’s your page and you are well within your rights to run it as you see fit. Excellent rules here.

backtowardslightMay 26, 2012 at 11:08 pmReply

Love tihs Sue …
Learning so much from you … You inspire me ..every single day ♥

Trying God’s PatienceJune 16, 2012 at 3:40 pmReply

Aw, hun – thank you – love ya. xoxo

Melissa Nadia VivianaJune 28, 2012 at 7:09 pmReply

“It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.” is definitely one of my favorite quotes. This is the epitome of an open mind. Holding every idea in your mind just for a little while, just to see if it makes sense or not, isn’t like letting in the trojan horse. It’s not going to sneak onto your territory innocently and then completely take over your mind. But people with closed minds seem to fear pure and simple IDEAS and possibilities.

We sometimes think that if an idea is wrong we can’t even allow this offensive thought to enter our minds and influence us in any way. But if you don’t entertain an idea in the first place, how can you know it’s wrong?

That’s when you realize you’re using prejudice instead of brain power. And anyone using prejudice to argue will only waste their own time and everyone else’s. When people are in those moods, I don’t even entertain a discussion with them. It will get ME nowhere to participate. A better debate is one in which you’re biggest accomplishment isn’t to successfully tear down someone else’s self-esteem — an absolutely awful goal, if we would only admit that this is all we get out of winning our prejudice-based fights.

julienbrightsideAugust 11, 2012 at 10:41 amReply

A well written article I believe. I like it. You make a lot of valid points.

lifealigningkatAugust 13, 2012 at 2:39 pmReply

I wish critical thought and discussions skills were taught more in our schools. I love hearing differing views from mine, it give my mind and opinions a chance to stretch and be challenged, it keeps my mind open and flexible.

There is such a skill to being able to offer a contrary view in a way that can still be heard by those who may not agree with it. One of the most important things I try and teach my children is ‘What you want to say is irrelevant, if you don’t learn to say it in a way others can hear’.

Your blog gives some great hints as to how to achieve that – thank you!

Trying God’s PatienceAugust 13, 2012 at 3:16 pmReply

I think that’s a fantastic lesson – to say it in a way that others can hear – thank you. xoxo

FTIAT: Batting 50 « The Monster in Your ClosetOctober 13, 2012 at 1:31 amReply

[…] Recommended post: You must learn how to criticise properly […]

pattytmitchellOctober 15, 2012 at 3:29 pmReply

You are indeed the queen of your blog! Nicely put and worth both sharing and truly following.

Trying God’s PatienceOctober 15, 2012 at 3:45 pmReply

Thanks, Patty! xo

Christine BravemanNovember 11, 2012 at 7:41 amReply

This is something I needed and perfectly timed. Thank you.

Teri YoungDecember 29, 2012 at 5:03 pmReply

I think you forgot to use the words colour and flavour in your rant. I think you ought to sprinkle all of your rants with words like these. makes me laugh when you do. Just sayin’

Trying God’s PatienceDecember 29, 2012 at 9:00 pmReply

Hahahaha! I’ll try to do better. xoxo

Jan BucknerFebruary 9, 2013 at 5:46 amReply

Love this. So much. And yes, we seem to have forgotten how to have intelligent, fact-checked or opinion-based, discourse. I am saddened by the “us” and “them” mentality. When did mindful discussion end?

JanetFebruary 9, 2013 at 7:43 amReply

Coincidentally you re-posted the link to this enjoyable blog minutes after I had left a comment on another page saying that the criticisms & insults there about someone’s looks (as opposed to their words or behaviour) were irrelevant, offensive & unintelligent (IMHO).
I love a good discussion that puts up different points of view to think about, including some genuine humour, but not the type of ridicule similar to that sometimes heard coming from bullies in a school playground. Adults should know better…..shouldn’t they? Sorry, rant over.
love your page, love your spelling 🙂 and have your book which I am saving till I have the time to properly savour 🙂 it.